She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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