He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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