If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
