Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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