I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
