i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
