mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
