I just saw a hot homeless man
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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