I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
