the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
