I'm lost and stupid without you.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
