You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
