garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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