I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
