What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
