Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She needs sedatives and a leash
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
