What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
