fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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