Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
