Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
