It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
you inspire me to be a worse person
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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