I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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