The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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