She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
