I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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