Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
