In the future we'll all be gay
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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