so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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