So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
