Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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