first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
my poor anus
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
