real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
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