At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
