Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Holy sore nipples Batman
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Drunk is not a location!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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