Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
