mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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