Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
