I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
