smell my finger.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
