Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
