sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
