OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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