i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
God, you're like boner-b-gone
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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