I must be too annoying 4 u.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize