saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You can't just leave with hair like that
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
