he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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