I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is Oprah even human
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
