Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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