I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
