Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
