shes about as inviting as chlamydia
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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