How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
