Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Say something about gay babies.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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