you have to choose: penises or morals?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We left the knife in your bed.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
