i jhust puked up my retainher.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We need to rekindle our bromance
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
