Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
