I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize