but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize