Someone shit on the floor
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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