"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
