it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
