Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
