Ketchup is God's man juice
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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